The phone rings. “Hello?” Travis calls out to the room. Nick gets up and fetches the phone from the armchair.

“I’m dead if it’s for me,” Travis says.

“Hello?” Nick says. He listens for a moment. “No, I’m sorry. He’s dead.” He listens again.

“Well,” he starts with some reserve, “I could check again, but, I mean, at least an hour ago he was dead.”

Travis looks at Nick and mouths silently, Who is it?

Kristin, Nick mouths back.

Travis waves for the phone.

“Oh my God!” Nick hollers, “It’s a miracle! It’s a miracle! He’s alive! Here.” He hands the phone to Travis.

“Hello?”

“Hello, freak,” Kristin replies dryly. Travis can barely hear her over Nick screaming, “This will be the best Christmas ever!”

Travis: What’s up?
Kristen: I wanted to see what you’re doing tomorrow night.

“Not goin’ anywhere with you,” Travis says. Nick gets up to go to the bathroom, farting loudly as he passes Travis. Travis takes a swing at him as Nick dashes through the door.

Kristen: Shut up. Do you remember Eric Tufts?
Travis [thinking]: Yeah.
Kristen: You do not.
Travis: No, actually I do. We met up with him at Mardi Gras that first time, right? You met him on the love boat or something.
Kristen [sighing]: It was just a cruise. I can’t believe you actually remember that.
Travis: Yeah, well, we got along pretty well. He can talk the talk.
Kristen: Well, anyway, he’s coming in to town tomorrow. I want us all to hang out.
Travis: Am I to assume that there will be drinking?
Kristen [in valley girl voice]: Uh, like, what else?”
Travis: No, I’m sorry. I’m strictly against drinking.
Kristen: Shut up. Will you come?
Travis: Yeah. It’d be great to see him again.
Kristen: Yeah. I thought you guys got along last time, and it’ll be more fun if there’s more of us.
Travis: Yup.
Kristen: Okay. Well, what are you doing tonight?
Traivs: I think we’re goin’ to ER to meet Karen, and then I don’t know what.
Kristen [with a hint of jealousy]: Karen? Nick’s Karen?
Travis: Yeah.
Kristen: Why?
Travis: What do I know? Nick says he hadn’t seen her in a while and thought it would be nice.
Kristen [irritated]: Okay. Well, me and Daphne will be at Mean Mike’s if ya’ wanna’ see us after that.
Travis: I imagine we’ll do that.
Kristen: Okay. We’ll see you there.

“Yep,” and Travis hangs up the phone. Getting up, he walks over the the phone base and replaces the handset. Then, he picks up the answering machine and hits the memo button.

“John. You’re an asshole. We’re at the Engine Room.” The machine chirps cheerfully in response.

Coming out of the bathroom, Nick warns loudly, “Don’t go in there!”

“Man,” Travis replies, irritated. “Someone should shove a scented suppository up your ass. I thought you were a vegetarian or somethin’?”

“I am,” Nick replies, perplexed. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“So, shouldn’t that make your crap smell less?”

Nick shrugs. “Cows are vegetarians.”

Travis concedes. “Good point.”

Read the whole thread: Carousel Cowboy

Characters and Places: death, farting, Kristen Shelley, Nick Vaughn, stink, Travis Fleeting