Happy Lucky Special Magic Fish
In which Jason purchases a fish which some claim to have strange powers.
The old man holds the fish bowl out, his arms fully extended, “No, no, you take!”
“Oh, I couldn’t,” Jason says.
“Yes. Vehy specia’. Bing you specia’ happy ruck.”
“Special luck, huh?”
Bringing the fish bowl back under his arm, the old man leans in conspiratorially. “This specia’ fish it… magic.”
“It’s magic.”
From near behind him, Jason hears Jess let out a giggle.
“No, no. Magic fish. You listen, see. I have maaaaany cats. No cat catch this fish. No cat.”
“Cats can’t catch this fish?”
Jess mumbles, “It’s almost a tongue twister.”
“No! Nothing catch! He magic. See?” The old man holds the bowl out to Jason. “You try catch!”
Yeah right, he thinks, like he’s gonna’ stick his hand in a fish bowl and look like a moron because he can’t catch a stupid fish trapped in a fish bowl. “No, no. I believe you.” To Jess, “It’d be fun to put it in the tub.”
Jess laughs, “Ye-ah! That’d be cool.”
“Okay. I’ll take the fish. How much?”
“With bowl—fifteen dolla’.”
Jason thinks. “Twelve dollars.”
“Magic fish! Twelve dollas’!?”
“Twelve.”
“Hokay. You lucky man now. He bring you good luck.”
“Awesome!”
The old man hands Jason the bowl carefully. Jason, in turn, hands it to Jess and gets out his wallet. In his genuine excitement the old man says, “You listen. When carp strong enough to swim up waterfall, it get wish and become dragon. This legend.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Lucky fish!” The old man pockets the money.
When Jess and Jason get outside, Jess holds up the bowl and stares at the fish. “Hey wife! I sell notha’ cheap, dumb fish to stupid, white man!”
“Okay, okay.”
“They always too stupid to put hand in bowl and test no-catch theory!”
“Shut up and give me my happy lucky fish.”
“It’s just like you to go out for a garden ornament and end up with a fish.”
“Whatev!”
“Okay. So let’s go to lunch.”
“Sounds good.”
“But not down here—I don’t wanna’ eat in Chinatown.”
“Well, then let’s just drop the happy lucky magic fish off at my place and eat up there.”
“Happy lucky special magic fish.”
“All of the above.”
Read the whole thread: Untouchable
Characters and Places: Animals, Jason Gunn, Jessica Hauser, magic fish
